Don’t You Love Her Madly?
by WittyWriter
Summary: Kyle X Wendy, Oh yes, I went there. Wendy loved Stan. He was the perfect boyfriend, but she could not deny the spark that existed between her and Kyle. But love like that was forbidden. It was a well know fact you don't date your best friend's girl.
1. Chapter 1

**Kyle X Wendy, Oh yes, I went there. For some reason I just think they'd work.  
And besides you can't stop me! Kendy? Wyle? Broflovburger? Lmao. Testaski?  
I think I like Testaski best.**

**I can't edit my own stuff well, so if you see any mistakes tell me and I'll try to fix them.**

**Disclaimer: Matt and Trey own them, and thank god they do.**

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**Don't You Love Her Madly?**(Is there a better song to name a story after? Besides I was listening to it.)**  
Chapter 1. Smells like Teen Spirit **

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

Worn soles thumped against the pavement in a beat of their own. Willingly singing a song of desperation as she increased her speed. The wind blew fiercely whipping her hair back and forth. She was in it for the long haul now. And when her breath grew short and clingy from the thin mountain air she kept going. And when her legs grew numb from the bitter cold, she continued farther. And when her whole body ached signaling its limitations she pushed on. The only thing to keep her moving was this one simple thought, "so close."

Wendy Testaburger was so close she could taste it. The victory was practically melting sweetly in her mouth. She could feel it pump through her veins she was so fucking close. Just a few more steps, just a little bit more, she was so close.

And then it was over. Wendy Testabuger had been announced as the first place winner in the mile run for South Park's girls track team.

"Congratulations."

Wendy turned around to match the familiar voice to its owner. A grin spread out on the girl's face as she came face to face with the one and only Kyle Broflovski. His nose had turned red, but was really nothing compared to her pink flushed face. Her bangs stuck to her forehead with dried up sweat. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world, but it did make her feel really accomplished.

"Where's Stan?" She knew it was rather rude not to thank him in favor of finding her boyfriend but couldn't help the immediate response. Stan and her had been dating on and off since high school, if you excluded those times he'd throw up on her in elementary school. Thankfully he learned to control his weak stomach. Wendy didn't think she could handle getting her clothes ruined everyday. When they broke up, it wasn't so much of a break up as time spent away from each other. Stan was really sweet to her but sometimes she needed her alone time, time to experiment and meet new people. But currently Wendy and Stan were on 'going out' status. They both seemed to be rather happy with that too.

"Ah, he's a football practice." Curly rust colored hair fell into the boy's long face from the unwavering wind.

"So why are you here?"

"Grateful, aren't we?" Kyle's natural sarcasm took over before he went on to explain. "Well you've been bragging about this event for a while now, so I thought I might as well support you while you leave everyone else's asses' in the dirt."

"Thanks." The blacked haired girl went to wrap her arms around her self as she lost her body heat through the rather thin material of her track uniform.

Kyle never the one to let details go unnoticed wrapped his arm around her and led her towards the high school. "How about we talk about this inside?" She nodded and leaned into him for the warmth. To anyone that didn't know them it would have looked as if Kyle was Wendy's boyfriend, not Stan, _but that was ridiculous_.

Leaned up against a random locker in the hallway, the red head waited quietly outside of the girls' locker room. Each time he heard the door open his gray eyes shifted over to see a random classmate exit. After realizing it was not the person he was waiting for his eyes would gently drift closed until he heard the old door creak open once again. Eventually Wendy made her way out of the locker room her messy hair now pulled up into a loose bun and her winter clothes back on. Her trademark purple coat was tucked firmly over her arm. Kyle lazily watched as she made her way over to him.

"What would you like to do now?" was the first question to slip out of her thin soft lips.

"We could go bother Stan."

"That jerk doesn't come to my important track meet and he expects me to go to his practices?" She huffed out, but they both knew she had easily accepted the suggestion and began walking in the direction of the football field.

They took a spot on the bleachers closest to the gridiron. Idly watching blue and white Cows jerseys cross the field, Kyle had a spark of genius.

"You should flash him." He said in the same indifferent voice he would use to talk about the weather. The Jew loved messing with his friends.

"God, Kyle, I am NOT going to flash the entire football team. You flash him."

"Alright." She looked at him in disbelief. She hadn't meant the statement. "Hey Stan!" Kyle yelled as loudly as he could muster. Once the brunette's attention had been caught, Kyle stood and lifted his shirt exposing his chest to the world. His best friend gawked and Wendy had cracked up beside him. She managed to get out a choked "you're crazy" between chuckles. He sat back down rather please with his work.

It wasn't long after Kyle's little joke that they grown bored of watching a ball fly back and forth and turned their attention to his Ipod. Wendy and him where taking turns flipping through the songs, each with a one headphone in their ear. It didn't take long for the girl to notice the boy next to her seemed to like a little bit of everything. The only thing his music player was void of was Country. She honestly couldn't blame him there. They were both deep into a blues song when they noticed a pair of dirt stained cleats in front of them.

"Hey Stan." Kyle greeted without looking up. Wendy pulled the piece out of her ear and jumped up to throw her arms around him. The Marsh boy embraced her back while he directed a glare to his best friend.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" Kyle asked sounding rather clueless; whether he was or was just acting dumb no one could tell.

"The shirt thing." Judging by his annoyed voice the guys had given him a hard time over it.

"Oh, I was flashing you." Kyle's tone was just as calm and despondent as ever. Stan remained confused as Wendy broke into another fit of giggles. It was obvious they weren't going to let him in on their inside joke so he dropped it.

"I'm going to go get changed. I'll be back in five minutes and then I can drive you home. Okay, babe?"

"What about me?" The eldest Broflovski boy raised an eyebrow in question.

"No way, jackass." And by 'no way, jackass' the threesome knew he really meant 'yeah sure, jackass.'

Stan jogged off to collect his things as Kyle and Wendy headed to the parking lot. On the way to Stan's beaten up old car she had been deep in thought. It was then that it struck her days like this weren't likely to occur anymore.

"Kyle, who am I going to hang out with when basketball season starts?"

He shrugged. Ah yes, that's right, Kyle Broflovski was Captain of the South Park's Basketball team. It was left to him and Token to support the whole team. They both had to be pretty good to pull off as good as a season as they did when the other players were Pip, Timmy, and Tweek. Kyle would testify that Timmy was the most helpful out of the three. Tweek had yet to get over his coffee addiction and tended to drop the ball a lot. Pip was just kind of helpless.

They let themselves into Stan's car. He never bothered to lock the doors, knowing no one would bother to steal the thing or any of the crap in it. Wendy made herself comfortable in the shotgun seat. The red head laid face up in the back seat with his feet propped up against the window. His energy seemed rather drained from the day. To stop the blaring sun from irritating him, he pulled his signature hat down to cover his eyes. Wendy smiled slightly. She had been watching him through the rear view mirror. There was just something pleasant and fun about hanging out with him.

Kyle was only starting to doze off when he was jerked back into reality from the slam of the driver's door. Stan turned the key and started the engine. Each bump in the road could be felt distinctly, causing Kyle's face to contort into a grimace for the five-minute ride to Wendy's house. When the vehicle came to a halt Kyle heard the couple whisper some mushy lovey dovey stuff to each other before Wendy gave Stan a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. Even though the bumpy ride was paused the grimace did not leave Kyle's face. The door opened allowing the cold to cascade into the car, and then the girl with the pretty long black hair was gone.

"Kyle?"

No response.

"Kyle, I know your not sleeping."

A grumpy unidentifiable mumble emerged from the back.

"Isn't Wendy great?" Stan asked displaying a goofy grin.

"She's…" he searched for the perfect word to describe her, "terrific." It wasn't the right word, but Kyle had said it so fondly his intentions had been identified.

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(I should probably clarify that by 'his intentions had been identified', I meant that he thought she was better than 'terrific'. It wasn't in an 'And Stan was like OMG Kyle's gonna steal my girlfriend away, SPAZ.' I had trouble wording that sentence.) 

**A/N: Originally this is supposed to be a chapter fic, but no promises, I have the hardest time sticking to one story. So I think I've ended it on a suggestive note where it could be taken as a one shot.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Short Chapter... I wanted to write more, but I thought that this was a good way to end it, rather than giving it an awkward ending.**

**And please if you see any mistakes point them out. **

**Disclaimer: Matt and Trey own them, and thank god they do.  
**

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**Chapter 2. Crazy on You**

The day started out just like any other. Tired students shuffled through the hallways. One pupil, however, seemed to defy the unwritten laws as she energetically bounced to her seat. Perhaps the cause of her upbeat mood could be blamed on the boy in the seat next to her.

"Stan." Wendy sang in cheerfully sweet voice.

He was oblivious to the world. Only a mop of black hair was visible with his face buried into his arm.

"Stan." She prodded again poking him in the arm.

This roused the boy from his daily first period nap. His confusion subsided when he saw Wendy's crystal blue eyes watching him.

"Hey there babe." He smiled warmly. After all waking up to Wendy was a pretty great way to be woken.

"So I was thinking," the girl started as she fetched her English book from her backpack, "that maybe we could catch a movie after school."

Stan was nodding along as she spoke, until a problem dawned on him. "Sorry Wendy, I already told Kyle I'd hang with him after school today."

"Oh." Her face dropped and her tone sounded disappointed but she didn't push any further.

Stan hating letting her down and franticly searched for a solution. "But hey, you have class with Kyle next, right? Why don't you ask him if you can tag along? I don't think he'll mind."

"Stan, you know me being the third wheel on the boy's night out isn't the same as a date." Typical boy.

"Boy's night in actually. We can go to the movies this weekend."

"Well," she was hesitant at first but eventually answered, "alright."

Their conversation didn't get any father as a pissed off voice came from the hall. "Alright class, sit down and shut up."

Mrs. Garrison, who had transferred to the high school, strode into the classroom prepared to ramble on about irrelevant topics and read the latest People magazine. The students who wished to earn a decent grade, like Wendy, would read on their own in class. They were used to his absent teaching. The man…woman would give the hardest tests in the school and yet never spoke a word about the required reading. Other kids treated the class like a study hall and goofed off the entire time. This was Stan's specialty. Today since he was up, he chose to harass Craig by throwing paper airplanes at the back of his blue and yellow hat. It wasn't that Stan had anything against Craig; he was just bored out of his mind considering Wendy had decided to read the assignment over talking to him.

Stan grabbed another piece of old unfinished homework out of his backpack and proceeded to fold it into half. Another fold. Now the wings. Done. He held the finished product between his thumb and forefinger and then targeted the yellow poof on top of Craig's ever-present hat. And with a flick of the wrist the plane was off. It missed, opted to hit the back of Craig's neck instead. The boy turned around to see Stan giving him a lame smile and limp wave. Needless to say Stan was promptly flipped off and then ignored. Well that wasted a good ten minutes. It was time for another nap.

When Wendy arrived in her second class of the day, she wondered if Stan's offer to spend after school with him and his best friend was still valid or if it had been retracted when he made the date for the weekend. It wasn't as if she had anything to do after school today anyway, she might as well join them. She set her stuff down in her regular seat when she remembered that Kyle sat on the other side of the room. Luckily the teacher wasn't strict with seat assignments so she gathered her stuff and moved next to where Kyle usually sat.

The bell rang and the redhead still hadn't arrived at class. Irritation was etched in Wendy's face as she waited for him. She was positive he was here today. Why was he so late?

"Hey ho, you're in my seat."

"Cartman." She greeted staring him down. Eric Cartman hadn't changed much since they were kids. He was still a racist chauvinistic manipulative asshole, and he still carried the extra pounds.

"Move bitch."

"No." At her firm response he took the desk behind her. He may have not won the battle but he would win the war. That girl was going to suffer through the rest of class if he had anything to say about it.

Half way through the government notes the class door creaked open. Wendy's eyes darted to the door where Kyle entered. She watched as he walked over to the teacher and showed him a note. The Jew then crossed the room to his row. His eyes drifted back and forth between Wendy and Cartman questioning the new arrangement. Wendy just shrugged when he meet her eyes. She'd wait until the end of class to explain her intentions. He just set about pulling out his books and scribbling down the notes he missed. The blue-eyed girl however couldn't bring herself to concentrate. Kyle had stolen her attention. She spent the rest of class taking in the way Kyle's forehead scrunched up when he was in deep thought, how he ran his hand through his hair when he was bored, and the way he generally looked really pissed off, a fire was always burning behind those mysteriously colored gray green eyes. Honestly she never thought about Kyle's appearance that much but now that she took him in he was probably one the most attractive boys she knew. He was tall, lean, and surprising tan for a Jew in the middle of snow-loving Colorado. Kyle had strong muscular arms and long fingers that drove her crazy in a way.

_'Oh god, am I checking Kyle out in government class? This is so many levels of wrong.'_ It was only after that had crossed her mind that she pried her eyes from the boy and went back to the task at hand. It was quite disappointing; notes had nothing on Kyle Broflovski.

Class ended early and Wendy found it odd at how she felt nervous at asking Kyle to hang out. Wendy Testabuger never felt nervous, especially not around Kyle. Her mind concluded it was the fact that she didn't want to seem like she was intruding on Stan and his plans. She didn't want to think that it could have been because of her odd turn of thoughts earlier.

"Hey Kyle?"

"Yeah?" He turned to face her, his pen hanging out of the corner of his mouth in the same fashion as a cigarette.

"Stan and me were talking earlier." Kyle nodded. "And well we really don't see each other that often with football and track." Another nod. "I know you two were suppose to hang out this afternoon, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I tagged along?"

"Sure." That was easier than she thought. She wasn't sure why she thought it would be difficult; Kyle was always cool to her.

The bell rang. Before Wendy had a chance to stand up Cartman bolted out the door. She stood there baffled at his abrupt exit. It was then that Kyle spoke up.

"You have a piece of gum in your hair." If she wasn't so shocked at the news she would have noticed Kyle's amusement and scolded him for it.

"Cartman I'm going to kill you!" The dark haired girl seethed under her breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kyle X Wendy, Oh yes, I went there. For some reason I just think they'd work.**

**Aw damn, I wish I had something interesting to write for this author's note but I don't. So I think I just use this space to say Vote Stephen Colbert for President '08  
**

**Disclaimer: Matt and Trey own them, and thank god they do.**

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**Chapter 3. People Are Strange**

Lunch. It was probably the only reason Kyle liked going to a small school. South Park High was small enough that everyone had lunch at the same time. That meant all of his friends were in the cafeteria and he had the option of choosing which friends to sit with. Normally his table consisted of Stan, Kenny, and that bastard Cartman. Sometimes Wendy would sit with her boyfriend nuzzling his neck but most of the time she hung out with her girl friends. Which would it be today?

It didn't take Kyle long to spot Wendy over at the accustomed girl's table. She was alone. So rushing out of the locker room before gym class was officially over was worth it after all. He walked briskly to the table and took a seat on the bench next to Wendy. When she didn't notice him, as she was reading a book on "The History of Modern Medicine" quite intensely, he scooted as close as possible to her, their thighs bumping together, trying to squish her but having no one on the other side made it difficult.

"Hi, is there a reason you decided to invade my personal space?" Despite the subject of the sentence she asked it sweetly to show her lack of concern.

Instead of giving into to her playful teasing like he normally would have, he knew her friends would begin to file into the lunch room soon and decided to get business over with. "Do you want to work on the project together?" Kyle proposed the idea.

Wendy raked her mind but could not recall for the life of her what he was talking about.

"What project?"

"And I thought I was the one who missed half of History class." He really couldn't hold in the retort.

"Hey!" It might have been true she wasn't exactly focused because she was admiring a certain someone, but that didn't give him any right to tease her! Even if he was the certain someone she was admiring. She could feel her cheeks burning and silently prayed she wasn't blushing. It was time to get her mind off of it. "Why do you want to partner up with me?"

"Because if you're not my partner, Cartman will call dibs on me because he knows he can get a good grade without doing any work, because unlike him I don't want to fail."

"Okay then. You'll have to explain the project to me though." It was good only Kyle would know she spaced out in class, as long as he didn't know why. The last thing Wendy wanted to do was walk up to the teacher and ask, 'Oh hey do you think you could explain this project to me because I was totally busy checking out Kyle while you were talking.' Not that she'd put it in those words.

Bebe came bouncing over to the table about to tell the juicy gossip of the day when she spotted her best friend and the Broflovski boy. Her face dropped as her eyes focused on the black haired girl's leg pressed right up against Kyle's and Wendy's hand on his knee. It was only after following Bebe's gaze that Wendy realized what was wrong. She didn't even remember putting her hand there, but she removed it before Kyle seemed to notice anything happened.

"Well I'll see you later." Bebe's arrival was Kyle's cue to leave.

The blonde girl wasn't going to let the exchange go that easily though. "Hey Wends, are you and Ky-"

Wendy saw where she was going and cut her off quickly "No!"

"Right…" Bebe's words were laced with suspicion but she let the subject drop.

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Wendy took the back seat this time. It was probably a bad idea because Stan was fighting with Kyle over the radio station instead of concentrating on the road. She subconsciously pulled at her seat belt making sure it was snug around her waist. Kyle was finally able to convince her boyfriend to leave Bob Marley playing, but redhead didn't get away without a smack to the back of the head. Her crystal blue eyes watched her breathe fog up the window as familiar houses pass by outside. She rested her forehead on the glass and ran a hand through her hair only to feel the disheveled ponytail. A sigh escaped as she remembered why it was there.

After government class Wendy had immediately sought out her best friend Bebe who helped her detach the wad of gum from her head. Unfortunately it had to be cut at an awkward spot in her hair, which was clearly visible. Wendy hadn't wanted to go around school looking like a retard. So Bebe suggested that she put her hair in a bun until she could go to the salon. She took this advice.

Wendy was still mourning over the loss of her beautiful hair as the car came to a stop in the Marsh's driveway. Apparently she had missed something because next thing she knew the boys were racing out of the car and trying to trip each other as they made their way to the door. Stan made it there first, but to be fair Kyle had a longer distance from the passenger's seat. The door must have been locked because even with the time it took for Wendy to get out of the car, walk around it and to the door the boys still weren't inside.

"Can't figure out how to open a door?" She couldn't help the insult. It was their own faults, really, for acting like idiots.

They stared at her. A couple of does caught in the headlights. Absolutely clueless. She had to keep herself from laughing at them. Instead she pointed to the door. Stan seemed to get the clue and started digging around in his pockets until he pulled out his key chain, which consisted of his house key, a car key, Kyle's house key, Wendy's house key, Kenny's house key, and a key to the football equipment and locker room at school. Needless to say Stan was a well-trusted guy.

Kyle's thoughts must have been on Stan's keys too because as his friend opened the door he asked, "I wonder if the key for the locker room works on the girl's locker room too. I mean the janitor has that one key that opens all the classrooms."

"I don't know, never tried." A smirk was on his face as he answered. They were up to their schemes again.

"And you're not going to," Wendy interrupted. But honestly she knew they had already cooked up their plan without any words and nothing she said was going to get through their thick skulls. The female member of the group pushed the two troublemakers through the door and into the warm house.

Kyle shed his winter coat making himself at home without a word. He pounced onto the couch and kicked his shoes off. When his saw Stan and Wendy getting ready to make out by the door he picked up his green converse and chucked it at his childhood friend, something he'd never do in his own house out of fear of his mother. Normally he wouldn't do it in the Marsh house either but he really didn't want to sit through a make out session.

"Ow." The black hair boy rubbed at where the shoe hit him in the chest and sent a short glare in Kyle's direction. "I'm going to go upstairs and get the PS2. What game?"

"Guitar Hero?" He suggested.

"Right," Stan had a bashful look on his face, "might take me a while to find that one. My room is kind of a mess." He admitted and then dashed upstairs.

The redhead glanced over at a lonely Wendy and patted the cushion next to him. Then in a really cheesy southern accent asked, "Why don't you take a seat ov'r here little lady?"

She giggled and took him up on his offer. Kyle had a habit of either being serious or completely goofy.

"See I ain't so bad now am I?" He elbowed her lightly.

"Okay, Cowboy, cut the accent."

"Alright." He agreed, but she saw the glint in his eyes. That couldn't be good. Next thing she knew he had her sandwiched between the sofa and himself. Oh god! Her eyes widened. Kyle was on top of her! This could not look good.

"Kyle, get off!"

At this all of the weight he had been supporting with his arms crashed down directly on the poor girl. She sucked in a breath. He was heavy, too heavy to move, but he wasn't crushing her.

"Kyle!" She whined again as she withered beneath him. Trapped she took in exactly how he felt against her. His body was warm, no more like scorching hot in this position. She could feel his muscles contract under the close contact. It was very unnerving.

"Kyle." She tried again, whispering this time. He faked a snore and buried his face into the crook of her neck unaware of how unnerved she was. His short rusty hair tickled her cheek. "Kyle?" Another whisper. He didn't respond.

The Broflovski boy didn't know what had urged him to attack Wendy. At first it was just another one of his silly jokes. But it slowly dawned on him exactly what he had done. Then it dawned on him that he was enjoying it, really _really_ enjoying it, especially the way she whispered his name. OH GOD! Springing straight up he distanced himself from the girl and sat back down on the opposite side of the couch, his back as stiff as a board.

They waited awkwardly silent for Stan to come back. When he did he gave them both a curious glance before hooking up the Playstation to the TV and plopping down in the wide space between them.

"Who wants to play me first?" There was no answered. Stan looked to either side of him to find both of his guests facing away. Did he miss something?

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	4. Chapter 4

**I dunno man. I think I just based Stan off of me in this chapter... you don't want to know what's under my bed.**

**Do I get special points for using an adult as a main character in this chapter? **

**Disclaimer: Matt and Trey own them, and thank god they do. **

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**Chapter 4. Man in the Box**

The silence was unbearable. It wasn't the lonely type of silence. It was that uncomfortable silence that creeps up on you when everyone wants to say something to move on but no one knows what to say.

"Err… umm…" Stan tried to break the tension but nothing was working. Then all of a sudden as if a godsend the doorbell rang. Kyle jumped up and ran to open the door.

"Oh, Hello there Kyle." Sharon Marsh's pleasant tone greeted, and the woman struggled to carry the two grocery bags in her arms.

"Hi Mrs. Marsh. Here let me help you." He took both the bags from her and left her hands free to shut the door.

"Thank you, Kyle. You can put them on the kitchen counter."

"Sure thing."

"Hi honey. Oh Wendy, I didn't know you would be here too."

Wendy smiled reluctantly.

"Well nice to see you."

Kyle was browsing thought the bags when Mrs. Marsh strolled into the kitchen.

"Cupcakes?" He turned to face her as he inquired.

"How did you know?" He held up the recipe he had retrieved. She'd always known Kyle was an intelligent boy.

She smiled warmly. "Yes, there's going to be a bake sale to raise money for the church.

But I forgot about it until last minute." She hummed tunelessly as she started removing the ingredients from the brown paper bags. "You can go back to your friends, dear." She suggested after Kyle made no attempts to leave.

He peeked through the doorway to where Stan and Wendy were. In the two minutes Kyle was gone they had gone into boyfriend and girlfriend mode. This mode involved a lot of touching and cuddling. Kyle's place was not between the roaming hands of Stan and Wendy. "I think they're fine without me." The redhead watched his friend's mother gather the measuring cups from the closet oblivious to the actions in the next room. "You know, my family thinks I'm a pretty decent cook. How about a pair of extra hands?" The teenager was eager to find something to do other than watch the happy couple getting touchy feely.

Sharon could not hide the excitement in her voice. "Really? That would be wonderful." In her mind she knew that she shouldn't be stealing Stan's friend for the day, but Kyle offered to help, and with the task before her she needed all the help she could get. So the two set to work.

Wendy felt Stan's lips fall on hers again, nipping gently. Stan Marsh was the perfect boyfriend. He was cute and smart and athletic. He was always there when she needed him and most importantly he loved her more than anything. So why was she thinking about the boy in the kitchen? Wendy felt like a traitor. It was as if she was cheating on Stan by just thinking of Kyle. She was being a bad girl and she knew it as she kissed Stan back fiercely. Her eyes squeezed shut tightly as she let Stan run his arms around her waist. In her mind pictures of red hair and green eyes flashed by. Warm masculine hands slid to hold her upper arms and she remembered the long fingers she was eyeing in class earlier today. She was pulled into the body in front of her and she recalled the way Kyle had felt against her just moments ago. It was so wrong. She was such a bad girl, thinking of Kyle instead of her boyfriend. He drove her crazy. Wendy Testabuger was a bad _bad_ girl. And it felt good.

White powder wafted in the air after Kyle had finished clapping the flour off of his hands. He was a mess. The flour's residue remained in parts of his hair, the edge of his nose, and the top of his shirt. Aware of Mrs. Marsh, he resisted his urge to curse. It was the bag's fault for being rip-able. Why didn't they sell flour in plastic containers?

"Oh, dear, why don't you go and borrow one of Stan's shirts?" Sharon suggested as she went about tidying the counter. Kyle nodded and left the kitchen without saying a word.

He passed into the living room where his best friend was trying to violate Wendy and uttered a quick, "I'm stealing one of your shirts," without stopping for a response. He had assumed he wasn't going to get one, but he was wrong.

"Dude, what happened? You're white."

"No. I'm Jewish." Kyle paused his trek to make a small joke on his ethnicity. Satisfied with himself the Jew made to continue on his way.

"Wait, Kyle!" Stan's voice actually sounded distressed, which was strange. There was nothing worthy of worrying over. Kyle simply raised his eyebrow at his friend waiting for an explanation. "There's something alive in my room… you can't go in there."

"What are you talking about?" He was genuinely interesting in what Stan had to say at this point. Wendy seemed to be watching him intently as well.

"You know how my room's a mess right?"

"I've seen your room, Stan. It's a pig sty."

"Well the other day I tripped right, and I landed so I could see under my bed. Something was staring back at me, man!"

"Do you have any idea how that sounds?" Kyle quipped.

"I'm serious! There's a monster under my bed." Stan had taken to the fettle position and was rocking back and forth feebly.

"Okay, Stan have you been smoking anything?"

"Not since football season started." He answered truthfully.

"Stan!" Wendy's voice had risen. She hadn't expected that answer from the boyfriend she was suppose to know everything about.

"Kyle does it too!" Stan was trying to deflect the blame from himself. Wendy's glare passed back and forth between the two boys. The Marsh boy was itching in his seat. "Come on; let's go get that shirt you needed." He jolted up the stairs dragging Kyle along.

The Broflovski boy watched as his friend continued to act like he caught a case of the crazies. Stan avoided stepping directly on his floor, maneuvering around the room by jumping from his desk chair to his bed to his dresser.

"Stan, you're not serious." Kyle watched in disbelief before stepping into the room unharmed.

"Get off the floor! It will eat you. Those weren't friendly eyes I saw looking back at me."

"How long have you been walking on your furniture?"

"Three weeks."

"Jesus Christ, Stan." Kyle closed his eyes pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd adopted many of Stan's habits over the years; he just never thought he'd use them over Stan.

The black haired boy then leaned over and opened a drawer. Pulling out a black shirt he tossed to Kyle before leaping out of his room and quickly slamming the door shut. Well that adventure was over with.

They headed down the stairs, Kyle changing his shirt as he walked. The dirty shirt was placed next to his jacket as he headed back into the kitchen. Sure he had Stan and Wendy's attention now, but he had already made a commitment to Mrs. Marsh and wasn't about to break it.

The appealing scent of chocolate cupcakes reached his nose as he entered the kitchen.

"Only a couple more batches." Stan's mother assured him. Wow, had they really made that many? Gray eyes caught the window and noticed that darkness had settled in. He'd been here longer than he realized.

"Do you realize your son thinks there's a monster under his bed?" It was for Stan's well-being. Honestly.

Sharon Marsh let out a long sigh. That was an affirmative. "Kyle, you've always been direct with me. Now, Stan won't be in trouble or anything, I know you look out for your friends. That's why I need to know. Stan's not on any sort of drugs is he?"

"Not that I'm aware of. He does tend to get carried away with his imagination sometimes." He fudged the truth a little, besides Stan wasn't on drugs… currently.

She let out a sigh of relief. It was nice to have adults trust you.

The clock reached ten. Wendy had left a half hour before hand. Stan was busying himself by playing Guitar Hero. And Kyle was headed out the door with a fresh batch of cupcakes to share with his family. Guys night in wasn't exactly what he expected, but there was always that 'locker room key' issue to deal with.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: When Kenny calls Cartman in this chapter, you can only hear Kenny. Just so you don't get confused.**

**This chapter contains no Wendy X Kyle what so ever. Just the boys' escapades.**

**Thanks for the comment. I know I change tenses sometimes, that's always been a problem for me, I don't mean to do it, I just can't even tell when I do. And then I reread it and I still don't see it. I know if I were reading someone else's story I'd be able to spot it, but I guess I just have everything in my head as working right. But I will try to go back and fix what I can find.**

**The boys, and the girls, are owned by Trey and Matt.**

* * *

**Chapter 5. Caught by the Fuzz**

Friday night.

"No, Kenny, I don't think girls get into lesbian orgies while they're in the locker room." Stan answered exasperated.

"Well you obviously don't know anything about girls." Kenny wasn't about to abandon his theory. "Hey are we going to get Cartman for this?"

"That fatass? He's probably happier at home eating his chicken pot pie." Kyle's disdain for the missing member of their group was not lost. "He gets off on food, you know."

"Well set a nice steaming plate of ribs in front of me and I might get off on it too." Apparently Kenny's appetite wasn't limited to girls. He couldn't really be blamed. Ribs were on of the more expensive foods on the menu, so it was rare for him to order them. He was adamant about saving every penny he earned from his minimum wage job at the dollar store.

"I'm not calling him." Kyle stated firmly. It was his declaration that it was fine if Cartman came along, he just wasn't going to like it. That was still their relationship. The Jew still hated Eric Cartman but hung out with him anyway. All logic said he should just avoid the jackass at whatever costs but Kyle was just used to it. Cartman was a part of their group, however disliked he may be, and that's all there was to it.

Kenny held out his hand waiting for Stan to give up his cell phone. It was some sort of unspoken agreement that Kenny was always the one to call Cartman. For some reason Kenny was the only one that Cartman would bother to listen to. According to Eric though, he hated Kenny just as much as Kyle and Stan. Soft beeps echoed through the hallway as Kenny's fingers dialed the number to Cartman's house. All three boys were silent as they waited for the answer.

"Hey man." Kenny's greeted some disgruntled mumbling.

"Dude put down the chicken pot pie and listen to me for a second." Kyle snickered remembering what he just accused the fat boy of seconds ago.

"God damnit, just because I'm poor doesn't mean I should be deported to Mexico!"

"No."

"You're an asshole, Cartman."

"No dude, you see we were going to test out Stan's key on the girl's locker room, so get down here."

"School lobby."

"I'm not gay!"

"Well at least my mom's not on the cover of Crack-whore Magazine."

And with that he slapped Stan's phone shut.

"Jesus Christ, don't break it! What has my phone ever done to you?" Stan grabbed his phone back and cradled it lovingly before tucking it back in his pocket.

Ignoring Stan's dramatic display Kyle asked the teen in the orange hoodie, "So is he coming?"

"After he finishes molesting his pie." That would take anywhere from five minutes to an hour, but hopefully the prospect of girls would quicken his pace.

* * *

It was a loud sigh, the kind of sigh you make when you want someone to hear it and ask what's wrong. It worked. 

"What's wrong?" The curly haired blonde peeked up from her art project to question her friend.

"It's just so short. My head feels so much lighter. It's strange." Wendy ran her fingers through her new hair cut for the nth time since arriving at Bebe's house.

"You'll get used to it." Her best friend encouraged her.

"I suppose." Wendy still sounded disappointed. Over the years she had prided herself on her long silky black tresses. Whenever she was nick picking her flaws she always would cheer up when she examined her hair. It was still the same sleek onyx it was before, but the length had been cut in half. Instead of falling down her back it stopped just short of her shoulders.

"It's cute." Bebe added after hearing the second sigh from Wendy that evening. She then went back to sketching the fruit bowl that she set up on the edge of her bed leaving her friend to grieve. Hopefully she'd finish her picture soon, because that apple was looking tastier by the minute.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you fags? What's the point of going into the girl's locker room when no one's there? This was the dumb Jew's idea wasn't it?" Cartman was going to continue with his irate rant when Stan pulled out his video camera. The three that had been waiting for Cartman grinned wickedly as they watched him comprehend their plan. 

"Sweet."

The hallways of the school were deserted. It was strange to be in a place that was so familiar in the middle of the night. Classrooms they recognized from being in everyday seemed different, lifeless and eerie without their teachers and peers filling them with ceaseless chatter. Stan caught a glance of his locker, his safe haven, and for some reason it just wasn't his anymore. It was just a number on a metal casing. As if it never held his friends photos, his incomplete homework, or his messy doodles from when he was bored in class. No, it was just another high school locker that would belong to someone else after the summer. Stan's gloomy mood was interrupted by his blonde friend. Obviously his friends weren't as creeped out as he was.

"This is going to be so awesome!" Kenny could hardly contain his excitement as he did a victory dance along side the guys.

"We don't even know if it will work yet." Kyle, always the practical one, reminded him.

After turning a few more corners and walking a few more hallways they arrived in front of the infamous girl's locker room. The black haired boy stared at the sign for a while grasping what they were going to do.

"Dude." Patience wasn't Kenny's strong suit as he gave Stan a few friendly punches in the arm. This prodded him into fetching out the keys. He shuffled through them until he found the oddly shaped one belonging to the school.

"Here." He passed it to Kenny, unwilling to be the one to open Pandora's box. Kenny practically had an orgasm when he received the key. After the initial joy wore off the blonde took a deep breath and poised the key in front of the lock. He pushed it in and went to turn it. Click. It worked! Thank god their school is too cheap to get different locks for the doors.

He eyed his friends before pushing the door open. Surprisingly, the girl's locker room didn't differ that much from the boys. None of them had known what they had been expecting, but seeing something that was almost an exact copy to what they had felt inadequate.

"No lesbian orgies." Kyle threw a joke at Kenny.

"That's because the girls aren't here right now." Kenny was going to defend his dream to the death.

"Where should we set up the camera?" Cartman made his first useful comment of the day.

"Someplace that gets a good overall view and nobody will notice." Kyle answered.

"The vent." Stan pointed at an obscure air vent that would hide the camera and give a good angle of the room. He felt slightly guilty for taping the girls, but he certainly wasn't going to get caught for it.

"Nice. How do we get it open?" Kenny took over, as doing sleazy things like this was his forte. He climbed on top of the bench nearby so he could reach.

"Just hit it. This school is held together with duck tape."

Kenny took Kyle's advice and sure enough the vent popped open. Stan pressed several buttons setting the camera to record in several hours, after the weekend, when school would start. When Kenny finished positioning the camera, he closed the vent and clapped his hands together to rid himself of the imaginary dust. "Alright! Now all we have to do is sit and wait."

"Okay, let's go then." Stan was eager to leave. His friends didn't quite feel the same though.

"What for? How often do we get to hang out in the girl's locker room? You know this would be the perfect place to smoke a joint."

"And have the fire alarm go off on us?" Kyle shot down Kenny's proposal.

"Do you think it works?"

"Probably not. But I wouldn't risk it. I don't want to have to explain what we were smoking in the girls locker room when the firemen come rushing in to save us."

"Fine." Kenny pouted as he gave up on the idea... well not entirely, he knew Stan still had the key so they could always try it another night.

Bang. Bang. Bang. All three turned their attention away from the conversation to Cartman who was slamming lockers.

"What are you doing, fatass?" Kyle called out to him from across the room.

"Looking for open lockers you goddamn jew." His insult was emphasized with another bang of the lockers.

The McKormick boy obviously must have thought this was a good plan because before anyone could snap their fingers he had joined Eric in searching for open lockers, leaving Kyle and Stan to themselves.

"It's weird you know."

"Humm?" Stan's attention was pulled to his musing friend.

"Being in the school at night." Kyle was voicing Stan's earlier thoughts, so he nodded and agreed.

"Found one!" Kenny sang as he came prancing out of the cove where he was to show himself off. A pink bra was strung over his white tee shirt and a pair of panties were in his hand, his other hand held on to something too small to see. The orange hoodie laid on the floor where he shed it so the bra could fit. He pranced up to the mirror and pressed the object hidden in his hand to lips. When he returned to face his friends his lips were a vibrant shade of red.

"You're such a fag, poor boy." Cartman offered. The best friends just nodded in agreement.

"You just wish you were hot like me." Kenny continued to dance around in glee.

"Hey you think that rumor about Coach Dykeface (Dykeface was not her real name, simply what every kid in the school had chosen to call her, it had actually caught on with most of the other faulty members, but they wouldn't say it to her face) having pictures of the girls changing hanging up in her office is true?" Now even Kyle was starting to get into a mischievous mood. Stan was starting to regret his decision to come here, if anyone found out they would be in a lot of trouble, and for what, a video tape that probably wouldn't film anything good.

"Dunno, man." Was Kenny's answer as the group made their way over to the office door. He tried wiggling the handle. It was a no go.

"Move!" Cartman ordered as he lunged at it with his full weight. The door was thrust open under the pressure. They filed into the compact office. No pictures were to be seen, but Kenny's eyes grew hungry when he spotted a boom box and a CD collection besides it. He silently prayed there was some Bob Seger in that mess somewhere; it was only the perfect occasion. None. After inspecting it he found it was all the really crappy pop music that would make his ears bleed from the inside out. But bleeding ears, he reasoned, were better than quiet. Eventually he settled on Rihanna. He had to admit she was his guilty pleasure. She was damn hot. So he slipped in the CD and cracked up the volume and danced. He figured the others would get bored and join him eventually.

Before the end of the night they all ended up in bras and lipstick dancing to pop music that made their ears bleed laughing like a bunch of pansies. Kyle actually went as far as to discard his pants and run around in his boxers. Cartman had put more focus on the makeup. And Stan had a weird instance where he was sniffing every bra he could find, before deciding girls smelled like strawberries. Kenny made a note to do this on a regular basis.

It was an hour past midnight when they had left the building. They quickly threw all the girls things into a corner, not able to remember where they had gotten them. Coach Dykeface's office was put back perfectly, because she was the last person they wanted hell from. And last but not least the boys locked up before leaving.

They went to Cartman's house to crash, so they wouldn't have to explain where they'd been to their parents. Cartman's mom never cared. Well, at least this time boy's night out was a success.


End file.
